I'D RATHER EAT PANTS (Radio comedy)

12/16/2002-12/20/2002 Monday-Friday, am.
National Public Radio. 5 acts.
Code: IREP 12/2002


Five act radio comedy/farce. "… the story of Abe and Mabel Pepperstein, who run a struggling produce store in New York. When a gourmet grocery opens across the street, Mabel talks Abe into closing the shop to seek fame and fortune in California. Abe and Mabel convince a surfer dude named Wisdom to give them a lift to California on his motorcycle " NPR Morning Show site: http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/2002/dec/eatpants/index.html

Act 5 is full of surprise revelations. Wisdom is really Robert Jimmy, Jimmy Jimmy's son, who left LA rather than continue to work as a hitman for his father..


Writer: Peter Ackerman
Director: Gordon Hunt

CAST (Alphabetically)

Edward Asner as Abe Pepperstein
Jonathan Banks as Jimmy Jimmy
Ed Begley, Jr. as The Cop
Emily Bergl as Pleasant Voice/Grunge Girl/Becky
Dan Castellaneta as Barney Kikkle/Manager
Derek Cecil as Wisdom
Bob Edwards as Himself
Clea Lewis as Melbaleine
Anne Meara as Mabel Pepperstein
Kendall Schmidt as Seymour
Susan Stamberg as Herself


Jimmy is the "most ruthless crime boss in LA." He is threatening Agent Barney Kikkle over an thirty year old unpaid loan. Gets pinned to the wall with a butcher knife by nine year old Becky, an expert juggler, who has been juggling the knife, a golf ball, a squeaky thing and her shoes at the time.


Cute in spots but a bit labored.


"Alright, Kikkle, where's my money?"
"You don't want them to know that in 1972 when you borrowed money from me you were still a she?" "You didn't tell 'em that your real name is Rhonda Pepperstein?"
(Kikkle: I had to be me.)"I don't care if you had to be a cocker spaniel -- you borrowed my money, I want it back." (But I don't have it.) "Then say goodbye to your knees."
"Somebody take the butcher knife outta my arm!"
"You know, little juggler, I could use a girl like you." (Becky: How much do you pay?)


Act 5 only.


Edward Asner (LGS 2/1979 LG 11/1979, LGR 1/1981)